I recently came across some writing I did last winter that I’d forgotten about. The topic was desire.
Have you ever really dug deep into your soul to find out what you really, really, really want?
Well, somebody had challenged me with that idea, so I tried.
Good grief, good joy too. Safety. Security. Comfort. Freedom.
Fruitfulness. Discipline/good habits. Creativity. Humility. Intimacy. Connection. Dialog.
Communication. Relationship. Attunement to God’s Spirit & to own heart too. Clarity. Honesty. Being able to be, not only do tasks. Good structure but with room to breathe. Wholeness. Integrity. Authentic Love. Health. Shalom—all the parts correctly working together in harmony and synchronization.
NOT boring, killing monotony.
NOT deadly grey-ness, lifelessness, no color.
NOT overwhelming myself and others!
NOT devoid of fun and interest.
NOT complaining, pessimism, cynicism, negativity, isolation, bitter roots.
Constructive conflict if any conflict! (Be angry and sin not.)
So, my yearnings are alive! (Guess I’ve worried that my heart had sort of died!)
Yearnings are sometimes painful, yes, but what would they be, if I didn’t care enough for my heart to break sometimes? Then they wouldn’t be “yearnings,” only wishes, maybe half-hearted desires, wants, “maybe-someday” wistfulnesses, but certainly not yearnings!