I am glad that we are only called to live one day at a time. Morning brings often a better frame of mind for me, better than the tired evening. Except, when I have trouble sleeping. Then it is just a challenge to face. But I am facing it.
It is good to know you are in the presence of Another.
(Still catching up on first Blogging 101 assignment: Introduce Yourself to the World.)
I am using a public blog instead of just my own little journal (which I also do–a lot) because I believe the passions in my heart, mind and spirit have been fanned into flame by my Creator for more than just me, especially in this current life season.
We all have been planted in a relational world, even if we feel or are isolated. Brain science has been telling us lately that each person has been wired to keep growing relationally their whole lives long. (See joystartshere.com).
I take this to mean that the Intelligent Design behind my being here on Planet Earth intended us all to share life together to some extent and this is one venue where we can do that. At least a few of us with a few of us.
It is also a laboratory for further writing projects–some maybe ending up in a more permanent form someday. Maybe.
Keeping up the blog helps me focus on my ideals and admit my humanness too. It is a good place to be here with you, Dear Reader, and I intend to keep it that way.
(This was an earlier assignment, or prompt, on Writing 101.)
I write because I really can’t help it! Words and me are almost synonymous. It is a two-edged sword.
I want to wield it well.
My true home of all homes is with the Lord in Heaven one day.
But I live here, in a suburb, with a husband, having done so over 30 years now. Part of “home” during those years was moving a few times, between suburbs. Also, it was raising two sons, now young men. It was having friends over quite a bit, for food, fun and church gatherings. It has been full of our ups and downs of family life, and of marriage and extended family–births, deaths, weddings, illnesses–some far from this “home” but still in a sense our “Home” on this planet.
We find that comfort with each other wherever we are–when it is comforting. And, of course, home can be difficult at times and we’ve had those seasons too, as everyone does. We have sinned against each other by failing to truly love always, by fits of selfishness and blind spots. Every family does, no matter how holy, happy or healthy. I am glad I can just say that out loud to this degree of “public.”
It is good to be as honest as we can; real love is truthful. I am grateful for that strong value of vulnerable openness that is actually our way to healing. Hiding and wearing masks seems protective at times but it really just isolates us, taking away some of the best of what “home” is meant to be–safe, where we can all admit truth, even the less comforting truth, when we need to. “Home” means that place of non-judging acceptance.
Our church families over the years have also definitely been mainstay kinds of temporary “homes” for us, also imperfect like other families, but still where we find “home.” This extends to the larger family of Christian believers all over the world and throughout history. We are truly family but we are not truly “Home” yet.
I recently came across some writing I did last winter that I’d forgotten about. The topic was desire.
Have you ever really dug deep into your soul to find out what you really, really, really want?
Well, somebody had challenged me with that idea, so I tried.
Good grief, good joy too. Safety. Security. Comfort. Freedom. Fruitfulness. Discipline/good habits. Creativity. Humility. Intimacy. Connection. Dialog. Communication. Relationship. Attune-ment to God’s Spirit & to own heart too. Clarity. Honesty. Being able to be, not only do tasks. Good structure but with room to breathe. Wholeness. Integrity. Authentic Love. Health. Shalom—all the parts correctly working together in harmony and synchronization.
NOT boring, killing monotony.
NOT deadly grey-ness, lifelessness, no color.
NOT overwhelming myself and others!
NOT devoid of fun and interest.
NOT complaining, pessimism, cynicism, negativity, isolation, bitter roots.
Constructive conflict if any conflict! (Be angry and sin not.)
So, my yearnings are alive! (Guess I’ve worried that my heart had sort of died!)
Yearnings are sometimes painful, yes, but what would they be, if I didn’t care enough for my heart to break sometimes? Then they wouldn’t be “yearnings,” only wishes, maybe half-hearted desires, wants, “maybe-someday” wistfulnesses, but certainly not yearnings!
You are exceedingly precious to God, the One who alone actually knows you best, loves you most and sees what really is.